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Torquemada
Yoda
| Joined: | Mon Aug 13th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 977 |
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Posted: Sun Nov 2nd, 2008 10:59 pm |
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I was on another board for video gamers where people were discussing what kind of "superboss" they would create for a console RPG game, like Final Fantasy. I'm not sure if anyone will get this, but here's mine:
Name: Barack Obama
HP: Only 10,000; however, before the battle begins, he will cast Media Bias and Rhetoric on himself, making him virtually unassailable. Your characters will also be afflicted by Implicit Racism, reducing their ability to damage Obama by one half.
MP: Starts at 100,000 and doubles whenever Obama casts "Hope" on himself.
Storywise: Began his career as a community organizer in the floating city, Cocoon. He has been given a massive amount of gil by the two-headed hydra, Rezko-Ayers. Obama waits in a cave below the city of Pulse, waiting for Lightning's actions to lead to an economic crash in the floating city. He then casts "Hope" and "Change" simultaneously, rendering himself virtually invincible.
Reward: John McCain comes out and does a happy little dance around your screen, and massive amounts of gil fall from the sky.
Fight again: Probably.
Looks: Big ears, cheese-eating grin. Carries the ultimate armor, CHARISMA.
Level: Veriable; Obama's level increases or decreases depending on the results of his Poll Numbers spell.
Difficulty: Obama is a master of status effects, and will inflict Confuse on your characters early in the fight. Confused by Obama's charm and rhetorical skill, your characters will begin attacking each other and blaming Sarah Palin for the sudden loss of HP. Obama's CHARISMA armor, coupled with the "Hope" and "Change" spells and the "Implicit Racism" status effect will make him invulnerable to most attacks. To defeat Obama, your characters will have to travel to the remote island of Hawaii and locate the rare item BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
Weapons: Obama possesses a large mouth that issues hypersonic rhetorical blasts, crushing anything in its path. He also possesses the ability to summon Joe Biden, whose long-winded speeches instantly inflict Sleep, and ocassionally Death, on the entire party.
Attacks:
Redistribution of Wealth: Randomly redistributes your character's HP or MP to another character, resulting in unpredictable changes. Can be both beneficial and deadly, depending on the situation.
Taxation: Subtracts a large portion of your party's gil based on the total combination of all stats. Characters with higher stats will lose more gil than characters with lower stats.
Hope: Raises Obama's Strength and Defense, while doubling his MP.
Change: Confuses party.
Class Warfare: Inflicts Rage on one party member.
Gun Control: Deprives one party member of their weapon.
World Peace, Sucka!: A slippery attack that paralyzes the party, while Obama continues to pummel them.
Poll Numbers: Randomly raises or lowers Obama's level.
Media Bias: Shields Obama from attack.
Implicit Racism: Reduces the party's attacks by half.
Clever Rhetoric: Deals damage and gradually lowers the party's defense.
ACORN: Obama casts Haste on himself, allowing himself to make three turns for every one turn the party makes.
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-=- Where the donkey goes, the ass will follow. -=-
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