 |
| Author | Post |
|---|
AyHyperbole
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Mon Nov 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2402 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 05:41 am |
|
Well, this is just great.
Remember when I mentioned that I had an alcoholic sleeping on my couch, and that I gave him two weeks to be here?
Well, tonight he's managed to bring home a 15 or 16 year old girl who lives like 30 minutes south of town, tell her this is his cool "bachelor pad," and feed her beer. They're down there in the basement, drinking, right now. The guy, by the way, is 32.
This is all kinds of wrong, and I'm honestly not sure what to do. I was going to go to bed and wash my hands of it - I've announced that I'm going to bed - but I just don't think it's the right call.
My real roommate is down there with them right now, but I'm not sure I can count on him to get us through this.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
|
ToniLoryn
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Thu Aug 7th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3787 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 05:44 am |
|
AyHyperbole wrote: Well, this is just great.
Remember when I mentioned that I had an alcoholic sleeping on my couch, and that I gave him two weeks to be here?
Well, tonight he's managed to bring home a 15 or 16 year old girl who lives like 30 minutes south of town, tell her this is his cool "bachelor pad," and feed her beer. They're down there in the basement, drinking, right now. The guy, by the way, is 32.
This is all kinds of wrong, and I'm honestly not sure what to do. I was going to go to bed and wash my hands of it - I've announced that I'm going to bed - but I just don't think it's the right call.
My real roommate is down there with them right now, but I'm not sure I can count on him to get us through this.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Whoah, shit. I didn't read about the guy staying with you.
I'm 32. Are you sure she's 15 or 16?
I'd take the guy aside and tell him to drive her home or you drive her home. Actually, since you're the only one who seems to have any sense, i'd say you drive her home. He can't be trusted. He's definitely going to cause her to lose her virginity if she is one.
Last edited on Thu Nov 13th, 2008 05:45 am by ToniLoryn
____________________
----♥♥-♥♥----
---♥♥---♥♥---
---♥♥---♥♥---
---♥♥---♥♥---
----♥♥-♥♥----
-----♥♥♥-----
----♥♥-♥♥----
---♥♥---♥♥---
|
Aldaron
Dialogue Facilitator
| Joined: | Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 |
| Location: | Australia |
| Posts: | 2047 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 05:57 am |
|
Drag him aside and tell him you're going to call the cops if he doesn't back the fuck off.
____________________
|
Arnold
Belvedere
| Joined: | Sat Jul 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 38 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 06:13 am |
|
What they said...
|
AyHyperbole
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Mon Nov 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2402 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 06:15 am |
|
ToniLoryn wrote: AyHyperbole wrote: Well, this is just great.
Remember when I mentioned that I had an alcoholic sleeping on my couch, and that I gave him two weeks to be here?
Well, tonight he's managed to bring home a 15 or 16 year old girl who lives like 30 minutes south of town, tell her this is his cool "bachelor pad," and feed her beer. They're down there in the basement, drinking, right now. The guy, by the way, is 32.
This is all kinds of wrong, and I'm honestly not sure what to do. I was going to go to bed and wash my hands of it - I've announced that I'm going to bed - but I just don't think it's the right call.
My real roommate is down there with them right now, but I'm not sure I can count on him to get us through this.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Whoah, shit. I didn't read about the guy staying with you.
I'm 32. Are you sure she's 15 or 16?
I'd take the guy aside and tell him to drive her home or you drive her home. Actually, since you're the only one who seems to have any sense, i'd say you drive her home. He can't be trusted. He's definitely going to cause her to lose her virginity if she is one.
Well, he doesn't have a car, and her car is here. I don't think she's in DUI territory yet. I'm just really, really hoping she goes home soon. It's 11:15, and I want to go to bed.
|
ToniLoryn
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Thu Aug 7th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3787 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 06:23 am |
|
AyHyperbole wrote: ToniLoryn wrote: AyHyperbole wrote: Well, this is just great.
Remember when I mentioned that I had an alcoholic sleeping on my couch, and that I gave him two weeks to be here?
Well, tonight he's managed to bring home a 15 or 16 year old girl who lives like 30 minutes south of town, tell her this is his cool "bachelor pad," and feed her beer. They're down there in the basement, drinking, right now. The guy, by the way, is 32.
This is all kinds of wrong, and I'm honestly not sure what to do. I was going to go to bed and wash my hands of it - I've announced that I'm going to bed - but I just don't think it's the right call.
My real roommate is down there with them right now, but I'm not sure I can count on him to get us through this.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Whoah, shit. I didn't read about the guy staying with you.
I'm 32. Are you sure she's 15 or 16?
I'd take the guy aside and tell him to drive her home or you drive her home. Actually, since you're the only one who seems to have any sense, i'd say you drive her home. He can't be trusted. He's definitely going to cause her to lose her virginity if she is one.
Well, he doesn't have a car, and her car is here. I don't think she's in DUI territory yet. I'm just really, really hoping she goes home soon. It's 11:15, and I want to go to bed.
I wonder if she's had too much to drink? Boy what a mess. If she hasn't had too much (hard to determine) i'd send her ass home. I'd also call her parents if i had the number but i'm a girl. You probably don't want to get that involved. I hope it works itself out.
____________________
----♥♥-♥♥----
---♥♥---♥♥---
---♥♥---♥♥---
---♥♥---♥♥---
----♥♥-♥♥----
-----♥♥♥-----
----♥♥-♥♥----
---♥♥---♥♥---
|
AyHyperbole
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Mon Nov 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2402 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 07:50 am |
|
Well. So here's how this played out.
I told the roommate that we pretty much had to shadow the teenage girl until she left. So we followed her and the boarder around the house for an hour, just hanging out. Then they went out onto the porch to have a cigarette, and next thing you know, sure enough, they're making out.
So I wait about 10 minutes, and they're still making out, and I'm getting really, really anxious about this, so finally I flip on the porch light and tell him I need to talk to him. He says "let's talk tomorrow," and I say, "No, man, it kind of has to be right now."
So of course he's already pretty humiliated to be called out like that in front of the girl he's trying to impress. We go into the living room, and he's all kinds of angry, and I tell him I'm really uncomfortable with this, because the girl lives with her parents, and her brother knows me, and knows where I live, and is a friend of the roommate, and may not think highly of a guy in his 30s trying to get into his teenage little sister's pants, and besides, he's been giving her alcohol, which could have legal ramifications for all of us.
He assures me that "nothing was going to happen," and goes back out there, and about 15 minutes later, she leaves.
Then we have a conversation where I tell him she's not welcome in the house and that I really want to make sure he himself is out of the house by Sunday. This, of course, pisses him off immensely. The two of us are both furious at each other, but it doesn't boil over into yelling, just a bunch of uncomfortable seething. He's defensively insisting that my roommate and I don't have the right to judge him, and we're trying as hard as we can to stick to the point - that things around here need to be a certain way - and not express the fact that we think what he did was really both morally screwed up and disrespectful to us. And then he sarcastically "thanks" me for letting him stay here, and storms off downstairs and goes to bed.
I am not having an easy time getting to sleep right now. Sunday cannot come soon enough. I am really having a hard time thinking of this guy as a friend and not as a crazy, dangerous guy who happens to be in the house with me. I'm not even sure I feel safe right now. Where's this guy's booze-addled brain going to take him next? Is he going to conclude that since I disrespected him, he has the right to help himself to some of my possessions to, you know, "help him get back on his feet" the way I failed to do for him?
Ugh. C'mon, Sunday. Come on, come on, Sunday.
|
Sally-Anne
Dialogue Facilitator
| Joined: | Tue May 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 5386 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 07:58 am |
|
I think you did the right thing Hype, good for you, you stood your ground and it must have been uncomfortable but you did what was right and I am proud of you.
I hope the guy leaves soon so you can get on with your own life, he's not really your responsibility and is old enough to take care of himself anyway, you did him a good turn but he wanted to take advantage of your gracious hospitality, so "adios amigo" to him, that's what I think anyway....
Last edited on Thu Nov 13th, 2008 08:01 am by Sally-Anne
|
ToniLoryn
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Thu Aug 7th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3787 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 08:12 am |
|
AyHyperbole wrote: Well. So here's how this played out.
I told the roommate that we pretty much had to shadow the teenage girl until she left. So we followed her and the boarder around the house for an hour, just hanging out. Then they went out onto the porch to have a cigarette, and next thing you know, sure enough, they're making out.
So I wait about 10 minutes, and they're still making out, and I'm getting really, really anxious about this, so finally I flip on the porch light and tell him I need to talk to him. He says "let's talk tomorrow," and I say, "No, man, it kind of has to be right now."
So of course he's already pretty humiliated to be called out like that in front of the girl he's trying to impress. We go into the living room, and he's all kinds of angry, and I tell him I'm really uncomfortable with this, because the girl lives with her parents, and her brother knows me, and knows where I live, and is a friend of the roommate, and may not think highly of a guy in his 30s trying to get into his teenage little sister's pants, and besides, he's been giving her alcohol, which could have legal ramifications for all of us.
He assures me that "nothing was going to happen," and goes back out there, and about 15 minutes later, she leaves.
Then we have a conversation where I tell him she's not welcome in the house and that I really want to make sure he himself is out of the house by Sunday. This, of course, pisses him off immensely. The two of us are both furious at each other, but it doesn't boil over into yelling, just a bunch of uncomfortable seething. He's defensively insisting that my roommate and I don't have the right to judge him, and we're trying as hard as we can to stick to the point - that things around here need to be a certain way - and not express the fact that we think what he did was really both morally screwed up and disrespectful to us. And then he sarcastically "thanks" me for letting him stay here, and storms off downstairs and goes to bed.
I am not having an easy time getting to sleep right now. Sunday cannot come soon enough. I am really having a hard time thinking of this guy as a friend and not as a crazy, dangerous guy who happens to be in the house with me. I'm not even sure I feel safe right now. Where's this guy's booze-addled brain going to take him next? Is he going to conclude that since I disrespected him, he has the right to help himself to some of my possessions to, you know, "help him get back on his feet" the way I failed to do for him?
Ugh. C'mon, Sunday. Come on, come on, Sunday.
Ugh.  Sorry to hear this. It really sucks that you worry about him getting you back. Do you have any kind of protection? Stun gun, pepper spray, baseball bat? I sure hope this guy leaves with his dignity or what's left.
____________________
----♥♥-♥♥----
---♥♥---♥♥---
---♥♥---♥♥---
---♥♥---♥♥---
----♥♥-♥♥----
-----♥♥♥-----
----♥♥-♥♥----
---♥♥---♥♥---
|
Merlin
Dialogue Facilitator
| Joined: | Tue Aug 21st, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 6427 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 08:25 am |
|
If that happens again before you can escort that moron out on Sunday, call a cab for the girl and tell her when the cab gets there if she doesn't get in it, you're calling the police to report you walked in on a sexual assault.
Don't back down, get him out of your house as soon as you can.
You're trying to get your shit together and you don't need to babysit an idiot.
|
AyHyperbole
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Mon Nov 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2402 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 08:27 am |
|
ToniLoryn wrote: AyHyperbole wrote: Well. So here's how this played out.
I told the roommate that we pretty much had to shadow the teenage girl until she left. So we followed her and the boarder around the house for an hour, just hanging out. Then they went out onto the porch to have a cigarette, and next thing you know, sure enough, they're making out.
So I wait about 10 minutes, and they're still making out, and I'm getting really, really anxious about this, so finally I flip on the porch light and tell him I need to talk to him. He says "let's talk tomorrow," and I say, "No, man, it kind of has to be right now."
So of course he's already pretty humiliated to be called out like that in front of the girl he's trying to impress. We go into the living room, and he's all kinds of angry, and I tell him I'm really uncomfortable with this, because the girl lives with her parents, and her brother knows me, and knows where I live, and is a friend of the roommate, and may not think highly of a guy in his 30s trying to get into his teenage little sister's pants, and besides, he's been giving her alcohol, which could have legal ramifications for all of us.
He assures me that "nothing was going to happen," and goes back out there, and about 15 minutes later, she leaves.
Then we have a conversation where I tell him she's not welcome in the house and that I really want to make sure he himself is out of the house by Sunday. This, of course, pisses him off immensely. The two of us are both furious at each other, but it doesn't boil over into yelling, just a bunch of uncomfortable seething. He's defensively insisting that my roommate and I don't have the right to judge him, and we're trying as hard as we can to stick to the point - that things around here need to be a certain way - and not express the fact that we think what he did was really both morally screwed up and disrespectful to us. And then he sarcastically "thanks" me for letting him stay here, and storms off downstairs and goes to bed.
I am not having an easy time getting to sleep right now. Sunday cannot come soon enough. I am really having a hard time thinking of this guy as a friend and not as a crazy, dangerous guy who happens to be in the house with me. I'm not even sure I feel safe right now. Where's this guy's booze-addled brain going to take him next? Is he going to conclude that since I disrespected him, he has the right to help himself to some of my possessions to, you know, "help him get back on his feet" the way I failed to do for him?
Ugh. C'mon, Sunday. Come on, come on, Sunday.
Ugh. Sorry to hear this. It really sucks that you worry about him getting you back. Do you have any kind of protection? Stun gun, pepper spray, baseball bat? I sure hope this guy leaves with his dignity or what's left.
No, I don't have anything resembling a weapon, and it's probably a good thing that I don't, because if I got nervous and brandished one, then that would be a virtual guarantee that things would escalate.
As stupid as it sounds, I think my "protection" is that I'm going to sleep on the floor in front of the door, so that if it were opened in the middle of the night, at least it would wake me up.
I also really, really hope that the guy transitions smoothly out of here. I hope that two weeks from now, we can jam out on some music again and put this whole period behind us. I hope I come back from church on Sunday and find no trace of him at all.
Fingers crossed. I don't think there's anything else I can, or should, do before Sunday rolls around. I guess all there is to do now is hope, and wait, and pray.
|
NorrinRadd
Dialogue Facilitator
| Joined: | Tue Jul 1st, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1102 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 09:33 am |
|
Damn, Hype, that's a tough situation. Really hard for me to relate to. I never ran in circles that would have left me stuck sheltering an alcohol-fueled sexual predator. I think if I *had* been in such a place, things would not have ended well -- possibly something involving me in jail and my blood-stained softball bat in a CSI lab.
Is your "friend" halfway rational when he's sober? He's very likely already guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and was probably only minutes away from (what in PA would be considered) statutory rape. Hopefully none of his legal dirt will get onto you.
____________________
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." -- Mythbuster Adam Savage
"Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence." -- ComputerGear T-Shirt
"Well THAT was a slap and a tickle!" -- William the Bloody
|
PearlsSand2
Dialogue Facilitator
| Joined: | Wed Jun 25th, 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 1250 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 01:04 pm |
|
You can also install an inexpensive alarm, (can be used for windows and doors) so that when set, and the door opens, a loud alarm goes off.
http://www.doorandwindowalarms.com/doorandwindowalarms.htm
That, and buy one of my Rottweiler pups, soon to be born.... 
Now this may be an unpopular suggestion, but what concerns me also, majorly, is the safety of that 16 year old girl. If it were me, I'd have to notify her parents (even if you don't give the name of the 30-something guy), perhaps in an anonymous note, that their daughter is going around with him and to be on the alert.
____________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkKue_MEnkk&feature=fvw
|
AyHyperbole
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Mon Nov 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2402 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 02:58 pm |
|
NorrinRadd wrote: Damn, Hype, that's a tough situation. Really hard for me to relate to. I never ran in circles that would have left me stuck sheltering an alcohol-fueled sexual predator. I think if I *had* been in such a place, things would not have ended well -- possibly something involving me in jail and my blood-stained softball bat in a CSI lab.
Is your "friend" halfway rational when he's sober? He's very likely already guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and was probably only minutes away from (what in PA would be considered) statutory rape. Hopefully none of his legal dirt will get onto you.
No, he's really not halfway rational when he's sober. The guy has an alcoholic's personality. You know the type: where everything wrong with his life is everyone's fault but his own. He's single because his ex-girlfriend is a bad person; his friendships fall apart because his friends mistreat him; he has no home or car or phone or job or money or material possessions because of the economy - despite the fact that he walked out on his job long before the market crash, because he felt like they weren't paying him the respect he was due.
The upside of this is that NV has looser laws than PA; the age of consent here is 16. The alcohol was illegal, but I don't have to worry that there's a sex crime taking place.
|
AyHyperbole
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Mon Nov 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2402 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 03:06 pm |
|
PearlsSand2 wrote: You can also install an inexpensive alarm, (can be used for windows and doors) so that when set, and the door opens, a loud alarm goes off.
http://www.doorandwindowalarms.com/doorandwindowalarms.htm
That, and buy one of my Rottweiler pups, soon to be born....
Now this may be an unpopular suggestion, but what concerns me also, majorly, is the safety of that 16 year old girl. If it were me, I'd have to notify her parents (even if you don't give the name of the 30-something guy), perhaps in an anonymous note, that their daughter is going around with him and to be on the alert.
Sigh... well, this may be an unpopular response, too, but I feel like I've kind of done all I can to protect that girl, in that I made it clear that she wasn't welcome at my house.
The girl is clearly rebelling against her parents. She's got the nose ring and the dyed hair and she's staying out until midnight on a school night drinking beer. And they obviously must know she's doing it.
And I just feel like: I don't have a role in this one. I don't know her. I won't be the guy who rents the house where she goes to get drunk and high and screw around with a guy twice her age, but I'm also not her dad or her brother. She has a dad and a brother.
Really, at this point, I feel like I've got to wash my hands of this. If the guy does move out on Sunday, I would be more than happy to never speak of this again.
|
Carol2
Dialogue Facilitator
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 04:23 pm |
|
Don't take any more losers in after this.
____________________
The righteous shall live by his faith (Habakkuk 2:4).
|
AyHyperbole
Dialogue Follower
| Joined: | Mon Nov 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2402 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 04:28 pm |
|
Carol2 wrote: Don't take any more losers in after this.
I have mixed feelings. On one hand, you know, I think it would be doing a really good thing to open my house up and do what I can to help someone who has problems.
On the other hand, it's becoming very clear that this guy doesn't want my help - he's looking for an enabler.
The line between helping and enabling can be such a blurry one... I mean, who wants to say to a buddy "Sorry, dude, I think it's time for you to hit rock bottom and go sleep on a park bench in the middle of November until you either freeze to death or have an epiphany and get things straight - good luck"?
I don't know. This guy absolutely can't stay past Sunday, but it I were put in a somewhat similar situation again, I really can't say for sure what the right thing to do would be.
Last edited on Thu Nov 13th, 2008 04:29 pm by AyHyperbole
|
limana
Supercalafragalistic Limana
| Joined: | Fri Jul 4th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1279 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 04:32 pm |
|
AyHyperbole wrote: Carol2 wrote: Don't take any more losers in after this.
I have mixed feelings. On one hand, you know, I think it would be doing a really good thing to open my house up and do what I can to help someone who has problems.
On the other hand, it's becoming very clear that this guy doesn't want my help - he's looking for an enabler.
The line between helping and enabling can be such a blurry one... I mean, who wants to say to a buddy "Sorry, dude, I think it's time for you to hit rock bottom and go sleep on a park bench in the middle of November until you either freeze to death or have an epiphany and get things straight - good luck"?
I don't know. This guy absolutely can't stay past Sunday, but it I were put in a somewhat similar situation again, I really can't say for sure what the right thing to do would be.
Oh, the irony. The Christian tells the non-Christian not to be a good Samaritan. Last edited on Thu Nov 13th, 2008 04:32 pm by limana
____________________
"There's only so many times you can say "cesspool of filth and perversion" before the words start losing their sting."
- Hyperbole 3/10/2009
|
Carol2
Dialogue Facilitator
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 04:35 pm |
|
Well, you said the guy had "an alcoholic personality". Don't be the enabler of someone who's takes advantage of anyone who will let him. Opening your home to someone who is really trying to put his life back together is one thing, but opening your home to someone you don't trust and even fear is another thing. No more guys like that. No more "losers". The incident with the teenage girl ended your charity to this guy and that's exactly how it shoud have been.
____________________
The righteous shall live by his faith (Habakkuk 2:4).
|
Carol2
Dialogue Facilitator
|
Posted: Thu Nov 13th, 2008 04:36 pm |
|
Perhaps Limana would like to take him in?
____________________
The righteous shall live by his faith (Habakkuk 2:4).
|
Current time is 05:57 am | Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ...   |
|
|
|
|
